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Find Your Preferred Spectacles Online

Frankie Dean Representative: Mr Shakespeare would you consider writing something for Frankie Dean. There could be a free pair of retro frames and a decent laptop in it for you.

William Shakespeare: Of couseSirrah. I don’t know what a Laptop is, but I sure like the sound of retro frames. Here’s something I prepared earlier.

When in dismay with blurry and sore eyes,

I all alone beweep my hazy state

And trouble eye doctors with my sightless fears

And look up myself and curse my fate

Wishing me like to one who can see straight

Featur’d like him, like him with eyes at best

Desiring to see art and the Mighty Dees

But with what I most enjoy contented least

Yet in these times Myself almost expiring

Happily I think on FDs and then my sight

With spectacles online appearing

Just to buy those spectacles frames online

From Frankie Dean such wealth brings

That then I’d scorn to change my new specs for wings.

I bet you’re thinking, would Shakespeare have advised you to buy spectacles online? I believe so. The poor man wrote the greatest plays and poetry in the language under a flickering candle with no glasses at all. The two known portraits of him show him not wearing glasses. Perhaps he had them hidden in his hose or doublet while the painter immortalised Will in oils. Perhaps Will’s specs were such shockers he didn’t want to be seen in them.

Whatever the case, stylish online spectacles would have made his life so much easier. There would still have been no sanitation, rats in the flour, and syphilis awaiting every amorous adventure. If that’s not enough, Will’s diet and lack of teeth cleaning would have led to breath so foul it could take down a woolly mammoth. But I digress.

Perhaps equipping himself with the new styles, fresh colours and retro possibilities which Frankie Dean provides would have led to the worst case of writer’s Block in human history because he would be having so much fun, he wouldn’t have had time to pluck a feather from a duck and dip it in the ink but he still would have been so much happier and the coolest bard in Stratford- on- Avon.

Sorry to talk about you Mr Shakespeare but what do you think of that?

To FD or not to FD – that is the question.

Whether ‘tis braver in the mall to wear

The outdated frames of I See Daily

Or to buy FDs and join the best dressed list

And by wearing these frames, to shine- To star-

No less: and by starring I mean you’ll end

The sly looks, and the thousand nasty quips

That non wearers are prone to, ‘tis a revolution

Devoutly to be wish’d. To shine – to rule-

To rule?Perchance to wear retro glasses in the tub.

Thanks Will. You probably need to work on that verse. Perhaps it’s time you got back to the sixteenth century where you do your best work and by the way, you can leave that box of Frankie Dean try-ons right on the table where you saw it.

Good night FDs

May boxes of try ons appear at my door?

Bye Will!

Learn more about the author Natalie Swinton, today.