• shopping cart
  • contact us

Finding the Perfect Pair of Eyeglasses

Have you ever wondered what would happen if dogs wore eyeglasses? God knows their sense of smell is already so good they can smell if someone breaks wind in the crowd at the Grand Final and I swear my neighbours Hungarian Vizsler could give Black Caviar a run for her money. My own terrier has hearing so good, he’ll only get off the bed if he hears the particular crackle of his Smackos box being opened. If it’s a cereal box or the tea bags, he’ll remain comatose on my pillow. But I digress.

What I’m here to tell you is that dogs wearing a stylish pair of Frankie Deans is just the ticket, to really give them the edge.

So for the sake of argument say Angel from Number 4 was able to access Eyeglasses online and make a suitable range of Frankie Dean selections for her home try-ons. Remember they’d have to be carefully chosen to fit on her fat bull mastiff head and to complement her Joker shaped mouth. Nevertheless Frankie Dean’s range is good enough to cover even this elephant man of dogs and in no time at all she’s sporting her retro pair of black Clark Kent frames around a couple of killer lenses, fitted perfectly by the team behind the best online glasses Australia company.

Now Angel is truly ready to rumble. Behind her gate she might look to be a friendly kind of overgrown puppy, but when she’s out in the street, after she’s checked with her new 20/20 vision that there’s not a dobbing neighbour or dogcatcher in sight, she’s running full pelt straight at your cat with murder in her heart.

Now Simone is not the kind of cat to let fur balls gather under her feet but today she’s slipped up. There’s a particularly persistent magpie chortling going on in the gum tree outside number 6 and Simone riveted on it just in case a miracle occurs and it suddenly falls out of the tree. She’s always been an optimistic kind of cat, but her momentary distraction this day has brought about her undoing. Angel, sporting her new Frankie Deans comes hurtling down the street and is all over Simone before she’s had time to let out a single feeble meow. In thirty seconds flat, Simone is as dead as an X-Factor loser’s career.

I’m sorry if you were expecting a cheery ending but I’ve never liked cats and although I’d never personally take a contract out on one, if another satisfied customer of Frankie Dean’s does the deed, I’m not going to complain.

I guess I need to come clean or you’re going to think I’m some kind of suburban monster myself. That’s certainly not the case. I’m the matriarch of all the magpies of Verbena Crescent Surrey Hills and if you think I’m going to be happy about some feline sadist getting hold of any member of my family then you’re sadly mistaken. Optical glasses online are indirectly our saviour and whether Angel resembles a character from a Stephen King horror movie or not, she’s the vessel for maggies continuing to rule the street. Today Verbena Crescent! Tomorrow the world!

Learn more about the author Natalie Swinton, today.