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See Better with Progressive Lenses

Imagine your most distant ancestor squinting to get a good look at the voluptuous woman hanging out her bearskin in the next cave. Oh the frustration!

Skip a few hundred thousand years (unless you’re a creationist) to the bright but unshowered inn keeper, also an ancestor who realised that by holding up a shiny glass sphere he’d just stolen from a travelling salesman, he could see some words in the family’s one book for the first time since he started shaving.

Keep skipping to the thirteenth century and one of the cave perve’s descendants is lucky enough to be besties with Friar Alessandro Della Spina the acknowledged inventor of spectacles as we know them. Spina is so full of Christian charity he starts making glasses for his favourites. As your ancestor arranges blind dates for the good friar, you’re first on his list for Occhiale, freshly made by his own lecherous hands.

Then there was the ancestor who sported a monocle, the one who favoured two spheres held to his ears by ribbon and the one who ripped off the Duke of Mantua and could then purchase golden frames to show off with.

Now you probably don’t have that much in common with this cavalcade of generations past. You’ve got zippers on your pants, Viagra in your pocket and your dentist has guaranteed you still have the teeth of a young god. But one thing you do have in common is rotten eyesight which really kicks in as you get more miles on your belt. And now getting really old is the most real possibility it’s ever been through human history. Instead of being a rarity, the Tabarets are bursting at the seams with genuinely geriatric punters who are desperate to actually see if they’ve won a feature on the Queen of the Nile or Outback Jack.

Step in Olly the Optometrist who now doesn’t just fix you up with magnified lenses to make reading a breeze. Now Olly can even do more than provide bifocal lenses which guaranteed your short and long distance visual safety. Now Olly can provide progression lenses and transition lenses.

Imagine that cave dweller being able to put on his new transition lenses and not be dazzled by the prehistoric sunlight when he stuck his shaggy head out in the morning. Imagine him in his progressive lenses and being able by a quick flick of his eyes, being able to look out for woolly mammoths in the distance, check out the babe in the next cave and cook dinner without burning the sabre tooth tiger on toast, and do all these things almost simultaneously. And if this ancestor happened to be a woman, imagine how human history could have been changed by a more able multi tasker now equipped with great eyesight as well.

It’s a shame Frankie Dean weren’t around to help back in cave days but they sure as hell are now.

Learn more about the author Natalie Swinton, today.